Preparing for the Holidays: A Neurodivergent Family's Guide to Festive Planning
The holiday season is an exciting time for many, filled with family traditions, gatherings, and celebrations. However, for neurodivergent families, the sensory overload, changes in routine, and social expectations can make this time of year challenging.
Regardless of which holidays you celebrate—whether it's Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year's, or any other seasonal festivity—preparation is key to creating an enjoyable and accessible experience for everyone.
Here’s a guide to help your family navigate the holiday season with less stress and more joy.
A family, smiling and embracing each other.
1. Create Visual Calendars to Manage Expectations
Holidays often come with a lot of unpredictability, from decorations going up to changes in daily routines. Using a visual calendar can help set clear expectations and provide a sense of control over the festivities.
Use a Countdown Calendar: Countdown calendars can be tailored to your family's specific holiday season. Consider using symbols or pictures that represent each event or holiday activity, such as a turkey for Thanksgiving, a menorah for Hanukkah, or a snowflake for winter solstice activities. This visual representation helps neurodivergent children and adults prepare for what’s to come.
Incorporate Routine Changes: If you know that regular routines will shift due to travel, visitors, or school breaks, mark these changes on the calendar. Include visuals for days off school, travel days, and days when holiday guests will arrive. Providing a clear outline of what to expect can alleviate anxiety about the upcoming changes.
Include Sensory-Friendly Activities: On the calendar, make room for scheduled sensory-friendly activities and quiet time. This ensures that breaks and self-care are prioritized, helping to prevent overwhelm.
2. Discuss Changes in Routine Early and Often
For many neurodivergent individuals, changes in routine can be one of the most challenging aspects of the holiday season. Preparing in advance by discussing these changes openly and frequently can make a significant difference.
Use Storytelling: Before the holidays begin, use storytelling to explain what the season will entail. Picture books, social stories, and even homemade photo albums featuring past holidays can help illustrate what changes and events are coming.
Practice Scenarios: Practicing common holiday scenarios, such as greeting guests, sitting through meals, or exchanging gifts, can ease some of the anxiety around unfamiliar social situations. Use role-play to practice these interactions in a low-pressure environment.
Introduce New Traditions Gradually: If you plan to introduce new traditions, do so slowly. For example, if you’re adding a new holiday decoration, bring it out a few weeks before the holiday and talk about what it represents. This gradual introduction allows time for adjustment and reduces the shock of new sensory stimuli.
3. Prepare Sensory-Friendly Spaces and Activities
The holiday season is filled with new sights, sounds, smells, and textures that can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals. Preparing sensory-friendly spaces and activities is essential for managing sensory overload.
Create a Sensory Sanctuary: Designate a quiet room or corner in your home as a sensory sanctuary where family members can retreat if they need a break. Fill this space with comforting items like noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, favorite toys, or calming visuals. Consider placing a “sensory retreat” sign outside to signal that the space is off-limits to others when in use.
Plan for Sensory Breaks: Incorporate sensory breaks into your holiday schedule. Set up calming activities such as reading a book, listening to music, or using a sensory bin. Including these breaks in your visual calendar can help neurodivergent individuals know when they’ll have time to recharge.
Modify Holiday Decor: For those who are sensitive to bright lights and strong smells, consider modifying your holiday decor. Opt for softer, adjustable lighting instead of flashing lights, and use scent-free candles or essential oils to create a more neutral atmosphere. Including family members in the decorating process can also help them feel more comfortable with the changes to their environment.
4. Set Expectations for Social Gatherings
Holiday gatherings, whether virtual or in-person, can bring unique challenges for neurodivergent families. Preparing for these social situations in advance can help everyone feel more at ease.
Use Visual or Written Schedules: If you’re attending a holiday gathering, create a visual or written schedule outlining the activities. For example, if you’re visiting family for Thanksgiving, break down the day into smaller segments: travel, meal, free time, etc. Knowing what to expect and when can reduce anxiety and give a sense of control.
Establish a Safe Signal: Establish a safe signal that can be used to indicate when someone needs a break from the social setting. This could be a specific word, gesture, or hand signal. Ensure that the person using the signal can step away to the sensory sanctuary or another quiet space when needed.
Prep Conversation Starters: For those who may struggle with social interactions, prepare conversation starters or simple phrases that can be used during family gatherings. Practice these in a supportive environment beforehand, so they feel more natural when the time comes.
5. Incorporate Predictable Elements into Traditions
Creating new traditions or adapting old ones to meet the needs of your neurodivergent family can make the holidays more enjoyable and less stressful.
Repeat Familiar Activities: Incorporate familiar activities into your holiday celebrations. If decorating cookies, watching a particular movie, or building a gingerbread house is part of your holiday tradition, make sure to include these predictable elements in your plans. This consistency can provide comfort amidst other seasonal changes.
Introduce Holiday Foods Gradually: Many holidays involve unique foods that may not be part of the regular diet. Introduce these foods gradually in the weeks leading up to the holiday. This gradual exposure can help neurodivergent individuals become more comfortable with new tastes and textures before the big day.
Personalize Traditions: Don’t be afraid to create personalized traditions that cater to your family's specific needs. For example, instead of a loud New Year’s countdown, opt for a quiet movie marathon or a cozy family game night. The most important aspect of any tradition is that it brings joy and connection to your family.
6. Plan for Travel and Visiting Relatives
If your holiday plans involve travel or visiting relatives, it's important to prepare in ways that make the journey and gatherings less overwhelming.
Use Video Calls for Introductions: If your child will be meeting new relatives or family friends, consider using video calls for introductions beforehand. This way, the faces and voices they encounter during the holiday season won’t feel completely unfamiliar.
Set Expectations with Relatives: If you’re visiting relatives, communicate your family's needs in advance. Let them know about any sensory sensitivities, food preferences, or routines that help your family thrive. This way, your hosts can create a more accommodating environment.
Creating an Inclusive Holiday Season
Preparing for the holiday season in a way that accommodates the needs of neurodivergent individuals can make a world of difference in how everyone experiences the festivities. By setting clear expectations, creating sensory-friendly spaces, and adapting traditions, you can make the holidays a more inclusive and joyful time for the entire family.
At Valley Inclusive Play Space (vips), we understand the importance of providing environments that support neurodivergent families throughout every season of the year. As we work toward building our sensory-rich, inclusive play spaces, we hope these tips bring a little more comfort and joy to your holiday celebrations.
Stay tuned for more blogs in our holiday series as we continue to explore ways to make the season accessible and enjoyable for everyone.