Managing Holiday Gatherings: Tips for Neurodivergent Kids and Families
Each year, the holidays are a magical time filled with family gatherings, festive decorations, and shared meals. However, it can also bring about anxiety and overwhelm, particularly for neurodivergent children who may struggle with changes in routine, unfamiliar environments, and sensory overload. At vips, we understand these challenges firsthand, both as an organization serving neurodivergent families and as individuals navigating the holiday season ourselves.
In this guide, we're sharing practical tips to help families plan for more comfortable holiday gatherings. From preparing for potential stressors to communicating your family’s needs, these strategies aim to make holiday gatherings an enjoyable and inclusive experience for everyone.
Preparing for Holiday Gatherings in Advance
Preparation is key to reducing stress during holiday gatherings. Helping your child know what to expect and feel more in control can make all the difference in creating a positive experience. Here are some of our favorite tips for preparing in advance:
Create a Visual Calendar for the Holiday Season
A visual calendar can help your child anticipate upcoming events and manage changes in routine. Use images or symbols to represent different holiday activities, such as family dinners, decorating, and visiting friends. Reviewing the calendar regularly will help your child feel more comfortable with what's ahead, reducing anxiety about the unknown.
How to Create One:
Use a whiteboard, poster board, or digital app to lay out the month.
Incorporate visual cues, like pictures of family members or symbols representing each event (e.g., a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner).
Review the calendar with your child daily, discussing what to expect in the upcoming days.
Establish a Pre-Event Routine
Establishing a consistent routine before the gathering can help your child feel more secure. This might include preparing a favorite meal, watching a calming show, or engaging in a sensory-friendly activity. The familiarity of this pre-event ritual can help ease your child into a new or different experience.
Example:
Let your child wear their favorite cozy pajamas during breakfast.
Use a weighted blanket for a brief quiet time before heading out.
Listen to calming music or read a favorite book together to set a positive tone.
Communicating Your Needs with Hosts
Holiday gatherings often involve visiting family or friends who may not be familiar with the specific needs of neurodivergent children. Communicating your child’s needs ahead of time can create a more inclusive environment and prevent potential misunderstandings.
How to Talk to Your Host:
Be Clear and Direct: Let your host know about your child’s sensory sensitivities, dietary restrictions, or need for breaks during the event.
Offer Solutions: Suggest adjustments that might help, such as dimming the lights, keeping music at a low volume, or setting up a quiet room.
Provide Context: Share a bit about your child’s unique way of experiencing the world. This can foster empathy and understanding, setting the stage for a more welcoming atmosphere.
At vips, we emphasize the importance of clear communication as part of creating an inclusive community. By openly discussing your child’s needs, you contribute to a culture of understanding that benefits all families.
Planning Exits and Breaks: Creating a Quiet Room
A quiet space can be a lifesaver during family gatherings. Large groups, loud conversations, and unexpected noises can quickly lead to sensory overload. Having a designated quiet room provides a sanctuary where your child can retreat to calm down and reset.
Tips for Setting Up a Quiet Space:
Choose a Room in Advance: If the gathering is at someone else's home, talk to the host about reserving a room or corner where your child can retreat if they feel overwhelmed.
Bring Familiar Comfort Items: Pack a bag with items like noise-canceling headphones, a weighted blanket, fidget toys, and a tablet loaded with calming apps or music.
Use Visual Cues: Place a sign on the door or in the corner that indicates it’s a “quiet zone,” using symbols that your child recognizes.
If a designated quiet space isn’t possible, look for other ways to incorporate breaks. For example, plan short walks outside or trips to a quieter room if your child needs a sensory reset.
Using Sensory-Friendly Tools During Gatherings
Sensory tools can be invaluable during holiday events. Whether it's noise-canceling headphones or fidget toys, having a small "toolkit" on hand can help your child manage sensory input in a way that makes them feel safe and in control.
What to Include in Your Sensory Toolkit:
Noise-Canceling Headphones: Great for drowning out overwhelming background noises, allowing your child to stay engaged without feeling overloaded.
Fidget Toys: Small, discreet items like stress balls, spinners, or textured rings can provide tactile stimulation and help your child self-regulate.
Weighted Items: A small weighted lap pad or stuffed animal can provide calming deep pressure input when your child is sitting at the dinner table or socializing.
Snacks and Water: Familiar snacks and drinks can offer both comfort and a break from the sensory intensity of the environment.
Encourage your child to use these tools as needed, reinforcing that it's perfectly okay to take breaks and use what helps them feel comfortable. In our future sensory rooms at vips, we'll have similar sensory tools available to create an environment where everyone can feel at ease.
Planning Ahead for Social Interactions
Social interactions can be challenging during gatherings, with multiple people wanting to greet, hug, or engage in conversation. Preparing your child for these interactions can ease some of the pressure.
Ways to Prepare for Social Scenarios:
Role-Play Conversations: Practice common greetings or scenarios your child might encounter, like saying hello to relatives or being offered food. Role-playing can provide a script and build confidence for the actual event.
Set Boundaries: Let your child know that it’s okay to say no to certain interactions, like hugs or high-fives, if they feel uncomfortable. This empowers them to set boundaries and communicate their needs.
Offer Alternatives: If your child prefers not to engage in direct conversation, suggest other forms of interaction, such as drawing or playing a game. Providing these options can help them connect with others in a way that feels safe and enjoyable.
Preparing for holiday gatherings with a focus on sensory-friendly strategies can transform these events into more positive experiences for everyone involved. By incorporating visual calendars, establishing quiet rooms, and using sensory tools, families can create an environment where neurodivergent children feel valued, comfortable, and included.
At vips, we’re building an inclusive community that supports neurodivergent families through all aspects of life, including festive seasons like this one.
If you found these tips helpful, consider joining our mission by visiting our resource center, supporting us with a donation, or becoming a volunteer. Together, we can create a world where every family feels supported and every child can thrive.